


It's Pronounced Wingardium LeviohSA

by Monobear



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)
Genre: Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Gen, Harry Potter References, nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-14 01:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2172090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monobear/pseuds/Monobear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the GOTG Kink Meme! When Peter finds a set of books at an intergalactic bazaar, he quickly gets wrapped up in the world of Harry Potter. And the addiction spreads to everyone else. Brief mention of Pocket, but nothing too deep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Pronounced Wingardium LeviohSA

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Someone on the Kink Meme!](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Someone+on+the+Kink+Meme%21).



It'd been about 3 weeks now, and he still wasn't over it. 

He'd pretty much shut himself off, and there wasn't really any way to pull him out of it, besides hope to God that something happened that required their attention. Otherwise, he was lost to them altogether.

All because of those books. It'd seemed innocent at first - they were just books, right? Boring. And then Quill had started to read through the first one on a whim, and...well, now he was addicted to the things. It was honestly bothering the rest quite a bit.

Hence why the next time Peter walked out into the main room, there was a shitty, half-assed banner reading 'intervention' (in what appeared to be shoddily scribbled sharpie marker) with the rest standing under it. Quill slowly raised a brow.

"....Is this about Rocket's drinking problem, because I was already considering having one of these for him, but I didn't know if anyone else was up for i--"

"You say another word, my claws go through your throat. No, it's not about my drinking problem, and fuck you, I don't have a drinking problem anyway." Rocket growled. "It's about you and those stupid books! You're not doing anything but reading them over and fucking over, and the rest are getting concerned! I, personally, could give a shit less, but I'm here because you assholes would get at me if I wasn't. So what the hell is up with those books, anyway?"

"Oh, come on. You all don't need to worry about that, Christ. They're just really good! Harry Potter! There's wizards and dragons and stuff!"

"...is this going to be like that one time you made us play that...Dungeons and Dragons game...?" Drax questioned. 

"No! Well. Maybe. I mean, you all don't have to look at these, but they're really good! There's magic battles and everything!"

"Sounds dumb." Rocket stated flatly. "Besides, the only fun I had with that other game was deliberately fucking everyone else over."

"--you are the worst example of a halfling thief and I'm never letting you play what is essentially yourself as a bloodthirsty knife wielding psychopath ever again."

"But that was the best part!"

"Yes, you running up, stabbing the man-eating dragon in the goddamn eye, and attempting to paint pictures with its blood was the most profound moment of the whole game."

"It had a deeper meaning to it. Maybe....okay, not really, but it was funny at the time!"

"--Anyway, like I said, I'm not forcing you guys to look at these, I'm just sayin', if ya wanna try 'em out, they're here." He raised his hands in the air, as if to say 'I'm done', leaving the first book nearby and leaving to his own room again. 

"...These have gotta be lame as hell." Rocket grumbled, picking up the book and staring at it questioningly. He opened it, scanning his eyes across the pages as the rest of the team peered over his shoulders. 

 

"--Okay, before you say anything again, I'M NOT IN SLYTHERIN! I'm a Ravenclaw." Rocket snapped, glaring at Quill. "You're not exactly prime Gryffindor material yourself!"

"Hey, ow, that hurt, I'm totally brave and heroic enough to fit in there. Besides, you're kinda snappy and plan things all the time while making fun of everyone else, that's Slytherin material." Quill responded. 

"I'm not that much of a prick!" Absolute silence filled the room. "......and you all are douchebags. Whatever. I'm intelligent and have the tactical mindset of a goddamn genius, so I'm going into Ravenclaw."

"I am Groot."

"Why the hell do you want to be in Hufflepuff, that's the most boring house there is!"

"I am Groot!"

"--Okay, it may be the nicest, too, but still, it's generically nice! At least in Ravenclaw we have Luna."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know about your weird-ass crush on Luna Lovegood." Quill smirked. "'I wanna be in Raaaavenclaw so I can be with Luuuuunaaaaa.'"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, THAT DOESN'T EXIST!"

"Defensive, aren't we?"

"Fuck off."

"...if I get a wand. Would I perhaps be able to channel magical ability as well?" Drax asked, glancing about the table. "I believe it would come in handy."

"Well, no space-owl came and sent you a letter to go to Pigfarts, so we're all assuming that none of us are goddamn wizards here. Including you, Drax."

"Damn."

"I'm sorry to be the one to have to break that shit to you."

"Rocket's just bitter because he can't ever fuck Lun--"

"I WILL KILL YOU, QUILL."

"Calm down." Gamora was the one to break it up. "We all know that Quill has a weird thing for Draco Malfoy, just like how Rocket has a weird thing for Luna."

"--I DON'T HAVE A THING FOR DRACO!"

"AHA! OH, HELL YES, YOU DO!"

"And Groot loves Hermione."

"I am Groot."

"....he doesn't deny it either."

"I am Groot." The flora colossus shrugged. 

"Yeah, yeah, we know, they're fictional, doesn't stop us from knowing that I'm not into fucking Luna! I'd be more into Fred & George than he--"

"OHOHOHO!"

"OH, FUCK!"

"Well, well, well, good things come in pairs in your mind, guys with a sense of humor and probably very nice abs--"

"And you're into a blonde little smugass bitch, bite me."

"..." This ended with intense glaring. "........"

 

"...you do realize that you two are getting bitter over characters that are almost like each other."

"Drax, let them have their couples spat."

"Okay."

"--I'm not like Draco!" 

"I'm...actually, yeah, I kinda am like Fred & George. Hahaha. Good taste, Malfoy."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

That evening was followed by an intense search for DVDs of the movies, and once those were found and watched, stupid half-assed magic duels while drunk. Groot turned out to be the champion, by the way.

And despite however many times they fought over it, in the end, they all knew where they belonged...

Even if, even in Slytherin, they knew they wouldn't be decent students. Perhaps it was better that no such things existed.

That they knew of, at least.


End file.
